Ode to my Bathroom Scale

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Dear Bathroom Scale,

We've been together a long time, both bad and good. I know we've both said things we didn't mean... especially me. I'm sorry. What I mean to say is that I really need you to be honest with me right now. I'm in a bit of a fragile state, and if I thought you were lying to me like I'm pretty sure you did yesterday... well, I think I might throw you out a window! I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Really. I just need you to be honest. I need to know what is really happening here. If you don't tell me, I'll stay lost and confused. And if you don't tell me, I'll smash you to tiny bits with a fucking hammer! The sharp end! Oops... I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Really. I just... well, you know.

So please give it to me straight. It's day 3 of my fast. I haven't fucked up TOO much. What do I weigh?

Love and some very mixed feelings as usual,

Ana Banana

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Dear Ana Banana,

171.2

Love,
Scale

P.S. Please don't smash me.
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I was just interrupted by a screaming yell coming from the kids bedroom. Its 6:30 a.m., mind you. I go to see what the hell is going on and I find my oldest kid's hand clapped over the mouth of my middle kid who is wrapped in a bathrobe, wearing a helmet, and is stuck in their detached bunk bed ladder. /sigh Is this the kind of day it's going to be? Hilarious and completely frustrating? Sounds like my life. ;) I swear it's true.

Anyway.... cx.uha;dlfngvicklxkcxklcxl.l;cvx;lcv;cv' ... there.

171.2!! Yay!!! I know that is mostly "water weight" but yay!!! I don't care. The scale is diving and that is what I wanted. That is what I so desperately needed to hear. After today, I'll only have a week more to go in my water fast that I will try very hard not to fuck in the ear again like yesterday.

Gonna keep on the L-Carnitine since its 0 cal and really good. Might also add a 4 cal caffeinated vitamin drink... If I do, I'll add it to my water bottle and drink diluted all day. Its an experiment and probably a bad idea, but I want to see what happens. It is loaded with vitamins needed for fat burning. Maybe this won't be the most cleansing fast, but I'd rather optimize it for weightloss if I can without getting too sick.

Wish me luck!! XOXOX <3