So Kit and Mei... my sisters... have begun a family intervention of sorts. Not for my diet, but for the sake of our sisterhood. We are now having Sister Nights once a week where we get together and work on positive and productive things. We are not allowed to fight or even bitch about anything. I didn't want to because I really didn't want anything to do with them right now. I'm deep enough in the dark... But I feel like there might be some light at the end of the tunnel, so I'm giving it a shot. Mei began it as a way for us to build a stronger foundation for our relationship. Kit can't comprehend why anyone is having a hard time and thinks everything is wonderful. As I've mentioned, she is prone to denial. Forever 15 in someways, and I don't know if she understands how fucked up things are right now. For example, she doesn't think she needs therapy. Everything is as good as can be. I think she's scared to rock the boat. As Mei has said, there is too much shit to atone for... too much wrong and too much Kit can't fix. She has to learn to forgive herself. Her guilt constantly overwhelms her. Being around her is a huge challenge for me... especially now because my theme is to remember it all. Stay in the truth of how fucked everything is and allow it to guide me to my goals... to survive or die, to succeed or fail forever. Kit stands for everything opposite to that. Everything is fine. No one needs to change. Things are good enough as they are. Fuck that!
I don't know how these Sister Nights will go, but I think the positive nature of it is a good idea. We each have a reaction for when one of us starts to bitch about something. Mei's is to "scream like there's a cockroach in her shirt." I almost died laughing when she told me that. Mine was to pantomime flicking an imaginary bugar at the person... Anyone have any suggestions for a better one? It was all I could think of at the time. Kit's is to put an imaginary coin in an imaginary swear jar.
What should my bitching reaction be? I think we can do better than imaginary snot picking and flicking. :) I'll update you guys on how these nights go.
(Once Upon A Family... Part 1 if you want to start at the beginning.)
Well then. Glad to know your parents don't beat you. I'm so sorry though, I know how tough life can get. So fucking crappy. At leaste you and your sisters are talking. My sister does whatever to avoid me. Maybe for your word you could say a word like genitch. When it's said ever one has to stop talking. It has to be one word that makes the world run cold and every thing freezes and no one breathes. At leaste that is how I imagin it.
ReplyDeletei hope that the Sisters Nights will be fun and you will reconnect again. sometimes i wish i had a sister :)
ReplyDeletebest of luck
hahaha Genitch is a good one.
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