Love, Progress, and Official Before Pics

It's been a while since I told you all how much I love you. You've all given me strength where everyone else in my life failed me. You've inspired me when I had little or no motivation. You've kept me going strong when I felt so weak.

I love you so much for that.

I love dearly everyone whose blog I read...

I love deeply everyone whose comments I read, on my blog and others...

I love every single soul who follows my blog and the blogs of my proAna friends...

And I love, love, love my skinnisisters because they're fucking amazing! :)

There is so much I'm grateful for. For example, there is no wedding ring on my finger though I'm married. But I won't wear it again until I've reached my goal weight. It's too bad it took such a painful situation to shake me awake, but I'm so relieved that I did. And despite the daily struggle, I'm so grateful to know that I can fix this... that I AM fixing this. How amazing. I almost forgot what kind of beautiful potential I had. And I'm so glad we can find our way to our skinnier, more physically beautiful selves together. <3<3<3

At blog I read, Yummy Secrets, Yum just posted progress pictures and a link to old before pictures she had posted. omg Her courage absolutely amazes me. I could never imagine having the strength and bravery to do something like that. But it is so inspiring! Please take a look...

Before

After

Look at her thighs! The difference is so clear! The pic sets were taken 5 months apart. She wants to lose another 17 lbs and is well on her way. Aren't you proud of her?

I took "before" pics too when I started in April. I never had the courage to post them, but I do now. I am so gross... it is so disgusting. Part of me feels like all of you will hate me if you see how fat I was. I know I've lost about 10 lbs since then, but believe me, I don't look too much better yet. I am posting them here and now and it is no joke when I tell you that it makes me feel like dying. I'd rather die than post. I think I might actually cry...

But I'm doing it. So here they are. FML.

(I can't believe I'm doing this... and no, I don't wear that fucking swim suit...)

(If you click this awful shit, you'll be able to see it clearly. My semi-transparent posts get messed with by the blog background.)

Holy shit.

Ok. I'm not saying anything else. I can't. But these are the Official Ana Banana Bella Before Pics. I post them with the perfect trust and faith in myself that in a reasonable amount of time I will post something much better. I will post progress. And like how what I've seen inspired me, some poor girl who looks like I did will see them and see the after pics and find a hope in herself that all the infomercial lies in the world could never inspire.

The hope I intend to create is a cause far more important than my shame.

So anyone I don't know, and didn't name above. Any of you who reads this now and later, looking for hope for yourself... looking for someone like you... looking for an answer... know that I love you too. Even if you came across this years from now, I am somewhere feeling love and appreciation for you and your troubles. This love is so great that I posted my own disgusting pictures so that maybe you'd feel less disgusting and find your own courage to set a skinny goal and head for it whole-heartedly.

Until next time...

-Ana Banana Bella

P.S. If you don't already, go subscribe to Yum's blog, Yummy Secrets!!!