Stubbornness

It's easy to see what is going on with my body right now. Lack of sleep and lack of calories have me burning calories inefficiently. Starvation mode. So I'm making it a point to go to bed earlier and nap if I have to. My workout yesterday was great and I know I burned around 400 calories.

My body is pushing metabolic shutdown, I just need to push the bitch back with more exercise. I'm also increasing my calories a bit. I'll bump my limit up to 800 but no more. I just can't cope with the idea of more calories than that right now. I need to work out hard though.

Yesterday's workout was great. I was really surprised how good my stamina is for someone who's basically hung around starving for the last few months. I had to start small because I have an injury and need to test the waters before I work too hard and reinjure. So I did a basic 30 minutes on the elliptical machine, then a brisk walk for another 30 minutes. I really wanted to run. After that first hour of moderate and light activity I had such a strong urge to run. But that would be begging for my foot injury to flare up. Doc's orders are to lose weight, but not to run... great.

Anyway, I'm half a lb. down this morning. I did drink a ton of water after working out so I'm hoping it was fat loss. Or maybe I'm losing some of the water retention. Either way, I'm not happy, but I'm happier than yesterday. I just need to increase the workouts and be diligent. Again, that's so hard with kids and a family. Everybody else comes first.

But if it's hard, I will be tougher. I will continue to push and push because I have no other choice. I'm never going back again. I will weigh less and less until I reach my goal. My fat will vanish. I want to be bikini-ready by October.