Joy!!! What a nice change of pace...

I'm sick... I'm on the rag... I have a few reasons for not feeling great, yet what is this happiness erasing all my woes?

I went shopping. Which I also usually hate.

Hate the crowds.
Hate too much advertising.
Hate looking fat in those mirrors under awful lighting.

Well I got a very pleasant surprise yesterday. I went to buy some clothes for this event I have this month, and found that I'm...

A SIZE 10!!

Ok ok ok... I know this might not be the greatest thing to all you damn skinnies out there. But listen. I don't remember the last time I was a size 10. Seriously. Had to be more than 10 years ago. AND at 5'10" a size 10 ain't bad.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm still a fat bitch, and look like a partially deflated fat-balloon. I'm 20-30 lbs away from being anywhere decent. So we're not popping any bottles of Dom just yet.

But the clothes I got made me look SKINNIER! And hehehehehe ... size 10.

Did sizes get larger when I wasn't looking though? I mean, in January I was almost a 16, then by April made it back down to 14 (which I've mostly been the last 10 years), then to a 12 a couple months ago. But 10??? I'm way fat to be a size 10! But I got size 10 jeans at Gap, and two size 10 dresses at Bloomingdales. I did get one size 14 dress, but that was so it could fit my giant boobs (which have not shrunk yet AT ALL...size 36D. though the size 36 band is also a new development).

I treated myself to a special celebration of eating almost nothing! Had half a chinese chicken salad, giving most of the chicken to my kids, and later had a small serving of veggie nachos without cheese. Oh wait... I did have some wine. Probably a 700 cal day then I guess. I think I'll starve today though. I'm so happy!

Shrink shrink shrink!

Still struggling with the Zig days.

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Zig
Definition: A higher cal Zigzag day.

Zag
Definition: A lower cal Zigzag day.

Usage: "Holy shit, I gained 5 lbs at my Grandma's over the weekend! She made me Zig when I needed to Zag."
or "Guess I Zigged when I should have Zagged, I'm so water fasting tomorrow."
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Zigging and doing it in a healthy (raw or whole foods) way is still really hard for me. It's a two fold problem.
1. It's just hard to eat.
2. If you eat healthy foods, you have to eat a bit more to get the nutritious calories.
It's so much easier to bump up the cals for the day by eating a slice of pizza, but that is the wrong stuff. Just try getting that many cals eating salad. blech. So I'm getting more fish, and avocados for the zig days.

Maybe zig days will be my sushi/sashimi days. I have no problem getting enough cals from sushi. The rice isn't ideal, but sushi is something I will never deny. :)

anyway...

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!

YOU ARE WHY I MADE SIZE 10 <3333

And with all of you I know I'll make size 8 and then 6 too!

xox