Fasting Till Sunday and Thinspice

Me and a few other proAna twitterlings are fasting together! Yay! Anyone wanna join? We're going today until Sunday. I've really needed this. I am going to try to continue functioning normally. We'll see how that goes. Yesterday was a very low cal day, so I'm off to a good start. The only obstacle that I can see is that my Grandmother is coming to visit this weekend and staying with me for a week. That makes things hard. She's one of those, "Sit down and eat!" kind of people who always thinks everyone is looking too thin. She gives my sister Mei soooooo much crap for being thin. She's model skinny, but not in a gross way. When she wears black and turns sideways, she literally disappears. Can I be her? Please? Only she's 5'3" and I'm 5'10" so there would be a difference, and she'll always be thinner and smaller than me. We'll never share pants. Oh well. Unless she gets fat. For her sake I hope that won't happen. But she's mostly a vegetarian, so I think she'll be fine.

omg I'm rambling aren't I?

hehehe Lacking calories. And I enjoyed a few drinks last night. I kinda miss this light-headed starvation feeling. Aww... why do I let myself get side tracked? I was really doing so well. My plan was working! Ana was kicking the crap out of Ed(nos) and I was losing lbs like a happy girl!

Truth be told, I haven't counted calories in months. Haven't gained/lost any weight at all. Stagnant. Feh. Meh. Pfff....

It's really stupid. I've I'd stayed focused and with it, I'd be another 15 lbs down by now. Or at least 10. What the hell is my problem anyway?

Well I'm back with it. I'm fasting until Sunday. Done and done.

I wish I had thinspice to sprinkle over myself like magic! Skinnidust! Poof!

Starving is the thinspice of life!

Ooh you know who else is my thinspice right now? Candice Swanepoel. I heart her so much. She is to me what Adriana Lima was to my sister Mei. I want to be her. So hot. You know the face. You know the body. I'm completely obsessed with her... right down to her perfect pouting mouth. Maybe because I looked so similar to her once upon a time. Especially with the blond hair, her face shape, full lips, and height... /sigh

Especially this pic. This could easily have been me at 125 lbs.

Tell me it's not too late. Tell me I can still be that hot in this lifetime. I need to get my priorities straight. And I need to do it now.