The Hangover

After fitful sleep, I wake up hungover. Wait a minute. Was I drinking? No. If I was, I'd have killed the bottle of Hpnotiq in the kitchen first and it's still there. And there's no vodka in the house... Hmmm... Well something is happening here. I was warm and dizzyish all night. My heart rate is still slightly above normal, but I feel exhausted, weak, and a bit light-headed. Oh and the weirdest thing? I feel dehydrated! How is that possible? I'm on a water fast and I'm dying of thirst!

No energy drink in the water today. Nope. We'll see how much of these feelings are the fast, and how much was the drink mix.

I really wasn't hungry much yesterday. Many fasting symptoms are coming on schedule. My tongue is turning a bit white from the ketosis, my breath reeks (pilau!), my hunger is lessening, and I feel a bit surreal and very sensitive so sound, movement, and light. Not too many extreme detox symptoms though. At least not yet?

Red - A water fast definitely would have not been good for you right now. With finals and all that? I'm really glad you didn't do it. This is the kinda thing to do on a spring or winter break, or maybe in the summer IF you're not working. It really is harsh. I usually think people are whiney little bitches. So when the sites said how hard this is, I figured they were wusses. Now, I'd have to agree with them. It definitely is as bad as they said.

All that said, I'm keeping at it though. Only 1 more week to go! I think I can do it! Zzzzzzz -.-

BDay Prep: Day 3 Complete

Today's strategy included:




There. Despite not eating at all, I should be a fat burning machine. Don't take my word for it though. I have no idea what this is actually doing or if it will work. It could be a really bad idea. I do my research, but I'm impulsive... that means I usually do something stupid, THEN do great research on it. :) Eventually I really know what I'm talking about, but I seem to be addicted to learning things the hard way. So nothing I'm doing on this fast or posting on this blog is advice.

(If you want ADVICE go to Pro-Ana Optimal where I share the best of this hard earned knowledge.)

Back to what I actually am doing, rather than what I should be doing... I poured the 5 hour energy (4 calories) into my 1 liter water bottle to dilute it. I'm using it for the vitamins, not caffeine buzz, so the dilution works nicely. If I had liquid L-Carnitine, I'd pour that in too, but I don't yet. I ordered it on Amazon, and it's coming soon. I could try crushing the tablets, but right now I'm content swallowing or chewing 2 in the morning and 2 at noon.

The morning went really well on my concoction, though I think I drank it too fast. Really it should be a couple gulps at a time, and then like a cup of plain water at a time in between throughout the day. I drank mine in bursts and then got a bit shaky on and off. Definitely took the edge off my day though.

I didn't cheat and eat anything. No freakouts! Yay!

I finished off my drink mix by about 5:30 pm and soon felt really warm, higher heart rate (not dangerous, but not normal), and dizzy spells. Anyone have any experience with caffeine while not eating for days?

I think I'll cut the dose in half tomorrow and see how I do. Other than the weirdness at the end of the day, today was great! No headaches either. Oh! I almost forgot the best part and why I'm sooooooooo continuing on this fast:

I FIT INTO SHORTS I HAVEN'T FIT IN FOR 2 YEARS!!! YAY!!!! XD XD XD

Soooooo happy! I tried them on just for shitz and gigglez and found complete joy! Yay, for cal restriction, yay for fasting!

Oh, and I've been keeping my husband, and sisters up on my activities just in case something goes badly or overboard... they know about pro-ana, my calorie counts, fasting and weight goals. They are all being completely supportive. :) Well, Mei (my youngest sister) is completely supportive. Kit, on the other hand is skeptical, a bit pessimistic, and somewhat chastising... yet sorta tolerant. She's the one who gives me desserts and yummy drinks either to be nice, kill me, or both. They don't know about the blogs though. Ok, one might but we never had that conversation. /wink wink

B-Day Countdown Fasting Goal & Dream Chart
Day 1 - [x] - water only, 0 cal, SW 175.2
Day 2 - [x] - water, 1 cup broth, 2 raviolis :(, 38 cal
Day 3 - [x] - water, a 5 Hour Energy Extra Strength W 171.2
Day 4 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 5 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 6 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 7 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 8 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 9 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 10 - [ ] - water only G1 *Primary Goal* with 5 lbs projected non-water weightloss
Day 11 - [ ] - tbd W ____
Day 12 - [ ] - tbd W ____
Day 13 - [ ] - tbd W ____
Day 14 - [ ] - tbd G2 W ____
Day 15 - [ ] - tbd W ____
Day 16 - [ ] - tbd W ____
Day 17 - [ ] - tbd W ____
Day 18 - [ ] - tbd G3 W ____
Day 19 - [ ] - water & clear broth W ____
Day 20 - [ ] - water & clear broth W ____
Day 21 - [ ] - water & clear broth W ____
Day 22 - [ ] - water & clear broth W ____
Day 23 - [ ] - water, clear broth, & raw puree W ____
Day 24 - [ ] - water, clear broth, & raw puree W ____
Day 25 - [ ] - water, clear broth, & raw puree W ____
Day 26 - [ ] - water, clear broth, & raw puree G4 W ____
Day 27 - Projected EW 159 - Happy Birthday & My Very Own 32nd New Year! XD

Ode to my Bathroom Scale

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Dear Bathroom Scale,

We've been together a long time, both bad and good. I know we've both said things we didn't mean... especially me. I'm sorry. What I mean to say is that I really need you to be honest with me right now. I'm in a bit of a fragile state, and if I thought you were lying to me like I'm pretty sure you did yesterday... well, I think I might throw you out a window! I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Really. I just need you to be honest. I need to know what is really happening here. If you don't tell me, I'll stay lost and confused. And if you don't tell me, I'll smash you to tiny bits with a fucking hammer! The sharp end! Oops... I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Really. I just... well, you know.

So please give it to me straight. It's day 3 of my fast. I haven't fucked up TOO much. What do I weigh?

Love and some very mixed feelings as usual,

Ana Banana

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Dear Ana Banana,

171.2

Love,
Scale

P.S. Please don't smash me.
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I was just interrupted by a screaming yell coming from the kids bedroom. Its 6:30 a.m., mind you. I go to see what the hell is going on and I find my oldest kid's hand clapped over the mouth of my middle kid who is wrapped in a bathrobe, wearing a helmet, and is stuck in their detached bunk bed ladder. /sigh Is this the kind of day it's going to be? Hilarious and completely frustrating? Sounds like my life. ;) I swear it's true.

Anyway.... cx.uha;dlfngvicklxkcxklcxl.l;cvx;lcv;cv' ... there.

171.2!! Yay!!! I know that is mostly "water weight" but yay!!! I don't care. The scale is diving and that is what I wanted. That is what I so desperately needed to hear. After today, I'll only have a week more to go in my water fast that I will try very hard not to fuck in the ear again like yesterday.

Gonna keep on the L-Carnitine since its 0 cal and really good. Might also add a 4 cal caffeinated vitamin drink... If I do, I'll add it to my water bottle and drink diluted all day. Its an experiment and probably a bad idea, but I want to see what happens. It is loaded with vitamins needed for fat burning. Maybe this won't be the most cleansing fast, but I'd rather optimize it for weightloss if I can without getting too sick.

Wish me luck!! XOXOX <3

BDay Prep: Day 2 Complete

I don't know if 38 calories is enough to break a fast. Probably not according to skinny spa standards, but FUCK! As you'll see below, I deliberately had a cup of broth, and kinda accidentally freaked out and ate 2 raviolis. shit shit shit.

38 cals? And I feel ok now. Actually, I've had a headache most of today. It's a bit better now. But after 38 cals, I'm not hungry! Do you know what that means?! It means I could have stuck it out. It means I was weak minded and folded. How lame is that? Grrr.... I think I'm still on the fast but I've definitely stunk it up. I'll do better tomorrow.

Anyway, yeah, headache, hungry, and moody as hell. I've been extra nice to the kids to compensate for how mean my mood makes me feel like being. Got a bit of exercise today. Just a short swim. I don't feel fatigued, but I hate headaches. I guess this isn't supposed to feel good. Everyone says hell, and I'm probably only half way there. Poop.

In more helpful news: I also started taking L-Carnitine (0 calories) today to help me break down fats. Very useful little supplement.

B-Day Countdown Fasting Goal & Dream Chart
Day 1 - [x] - water only, 0 cal, SW 175.2
Day 2 - [x] - water, 1 cup broth, 2 raviolis :(, 38 cal
Day 3 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 4 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 5 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 6 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 7 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 8 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 9 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 10 - [ ] - water only G1 *Primary Goal* with 5 lbs projected non-water weightloss
Day 11 - [ ] - tbd W ____
Day 12 - [ ] - tbd W ____
Day 13 - [ ] - tbd W ____
Day 14 - [ ] - tbd G2 W ____
Day 15 - [ ] - tbd W ____
Day 16 - [ ] - tbd W ____
Day 17 - [ ] - tbd W ____
Day 18 - [ ] - tbd G3 W ____
Day 19 - [ ] - water & clear broth W ____
Day 20 - [ ] - water & clear broth W ____
Day 21 - [ ] - water & clear broth W ____
Day 22 - [ ] - water & clear broth W ____
Day 23 - [ ] - water, clear broth, & raw puree W ____
Day 24 - [ ] - water, clear broth, & raw puree W ____
Day 25 - [ ] - water, clear broth, & raw puree W ____
Day 26 - [ ] - water, clear broth, & raw puree G4 W ____
Day 27 - Projected EW 159 - Happy Birthday & My Very Own 32nd New Year! XD

BDay Prep: Day 1 Complete

Calories: 0

You know, I feel fine. Its all good. What is driving me crazy already though and will continue to is cooking! I have to feed my 3, yes THREE kids all day. :(

Avocado, Veggie Burgers, Pizza, Carrots, Sandwiches... /cry
I roasted cornish game hens for dinner for fuck's sake.
Seasonings... condiments... AAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

This isn't going to be easy. I want that fucking day 10 so bad though. Day 10. That's all I care about right now. If it isn't Day 10, fuck me blue, I don't want to hear it from myself. Not a word. After Day 10, we can talk.

Anyway, I feel great. I wasn't even barely hungry today. I confess, yesterday was about a 1200 cal day. (Thanks Red for your post involving being honest. I agree completely, if we can't be honest here, then fuck!) Other than that, I had such a great week! It was excellent prep for the fast too. Hunger is not my enemy yet.

The Yogi's of India suggest focusing on your hunger and then turning the feeling inward. As if folding the sensation deeper into yourself rather than trying to ignore it. When I began fasting years ago, I'd do one week long juice fast per month and a single day water fast once a week. I loved it and felt so amazingly good. Lost lbs too... My co-workers were impressed and wondering where my body was vanishing to. I lost about 8 lbs per month. Then I got pregnant with my first child. The point is, the technique of turning my hunger inward worked really well for me. Maybe some of you can try it. :) Let me know if it helps! <3

BDay Prep: Starting My Water Fast Today

Ok guys. The big ugly water fast. I'm actually not entirely sure how long I'll fast for. I will do at least 7 days. I've done that much on the Master Cleanse before. I've only done water fasts for a day or two at a time. I'm not completely sure what I'm in for. I've read tons about water fasting now and it seems that results and difficulty vary based on how toxic, fit, or fat a person is.








Since I don't want my ass as big as their nachos, I'm doing it.






Considering that I'm fairly fat (about 30 lbs overweight by ANY standard), and fat stores toxins it should be a huge challenge. Even though I have a very clean diet and lifestyle (organics, raw foods, etc.), I am storing fat from a time when my diet was dirty as fuck. I'm kind of looking forward to paying for my sins, in a manner of speaking, and getting some of this out of the way. It will also shrink my stomach capacity... which is nice because I have been known to be a chronic over-eater.

So here goes. :) Looks like Red is fasting this week too. Yay!

B-Day Countdown Fasting Goal & Dream Chart
Day 1 - [ ] - water only SW 175.2
Day 2 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 3 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 4 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 5 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 6 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 7 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 8 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 9 - [ ] - water only W ____
Day 10 - [ ] - water only G1 *Primary Goal* with 5 lbs projected non-water weightloss
Day 11 - [ ] - tbd W ____
Day 12 - [ ] - tbd W ____
Day 13 - [ ] - tbd W ____
Day 14 - [ ] - tbd G2 W ____
Day 15 - [ ] - tbd W ____
Day 16 - [ ] - tbd W ____
Day 17 - [ ] - tbd W ____
Day 18 - [ ] - tbd G3 W ____
Day 19 - [ ] - water & clear broth W ____
Day 20 - [ ] - water & clear broth W ____
Day 21 - [ ] - water & clear broth W ____
Day 22 - [ ] - water & clear broth W ____
Day 23 - [ ] - water, clear broth, & raw puree W ____
Day 24 - [ ] - water, clear broth, & raw puree W ____
Day 25 - [ ] - water, clear broth, & raw puree W ____
Day 26 - [ ] - water, clear broth, & raw puree G4 W ____
Day 27 - Projected EW 159 - Happy Birthday & My Very Own 32nd New Year! XD

Note: I'll be lucky to actually do 1/4 of this. We'll see if I can give myself the bday present I'd like.

Weekday Calorie Review - Updated with some menus...

Updated....
Monday - 536
Breakfast: Advantage Chocolate Shake 170
Lunch: Half Small Cobb Salad, Half small tuna sandwich 253
Dinner: A cup of Japanese Soba noodles 113

Tuesday - 670
Breakfast: none
Lunch: leftovers of my kids awful McDonalds lunch 586 fml
Dinner: 1/3 of a small avocado, 1/4 of a tomato 84 cal redemption
Note: That was the first time I've had McDonalds in years. It was an error of convenience.

Wednesday - 862
Breakfast: Atkins Advantage Chocolate Shake 170
Lunch: Skipped.
Dinner: Home made vegetarian nachos 692
(not the best but I was really needing something hardy that day.)

Thursday - 924
Breakfast: Homemade bean broth with chicken soup, an avocado, and a
medium baked potato plain 668
Lunch: A large egg over easy 130
Dinner: A medium green salad with light olive oil vinegarette 126

Friday - 678 (a VERY good day)
Breakfast: A papaya, 4 macadamia nuts, and a bit of water blended into a smoothie 125
Lunch: Small green salad with heart of palm, lemon juice and salt, no dressing 78
Dinner: Small green salad with marinated artichoke hearts and blue cheese dressing,
and a 1 cup side of rice. 475


Not bad. 3 of 5 days under my 680 calorie limit. 2 high performance physical days under 1000 calories. I think I can do better, but this was a busy and turbulent week.